I decided to start this blog because I often feel like the polyamorous community could benefit from more socio-political analysis, and that at the same time, the broader world of socio-political commentary lacks polyamorous voices. As a polyamorous woman, a feminist writer, and a radical leftist concerned with the intersections of gender, sexuality, race, and class in our society, I think I have the potential to bring some underrepresented perspectives to the table. And frankly, I’m also starting this blog because I frequently find myself with a whole lot to say about polyamory, and not a whole lot of forums in which to say it.
Because people often seem confused by what it means to advocate for polyamory, I think it’s important to clarify up front that I am not speaking out in opposition to monogamy. Monogamy is just fine and dandy for those who choose it. What I’m interested in is critiquing the social institution of compulsory monogamy—the set of norms that tell us monogamy is the only available option.
So why does this critique matter? Because not everyone feels comfortable and fulfilled in monogamous relationships, just like not everyone would be comfortable and fulfilled in a heterosexual relationship. There is no “one-size-fits-all” when it comes to love and intimacy. But when alternatives to monogamy are invalidated by the society we live in, it’s incredibly difficult for anyone to make an authentic and conscious choice about what kind of relationship they prefer to be in.
My radical agenda is to create a world where all people are able to freely choose how to form romantic and intimate bonds, whether that choice is for monogamy, polyamory, or something else entirely; a world where all people can say they entered into a particular relationship formation with intent, not simply as a result of following a social default. And it’s my honest belief that living in such a world will greatly benefit all of us, not just those of us who happen to be polyamorous.
I’ll leave my little “mission statement” at that for now. But rest assured, there’s plenty more to come. Thanks for joining me here, I hope you’ll stick around.